Isolation increases vulnerability
Source: elifskies/pexels
Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial has ended and a jury found her guilty on five federal charges relating to child trafficking and child sex trafficking. Ghislaine is described as a “mastermind” in her role in locating, nurturing and arranging meetings between young girls and their companion/partner, convicted child molester Jeffrey Epstein.
I have worked with survivors of childhood trauma for over three decades. At some point in the therapeutic process, many of my clients request that their abuser be brought into a session with the specific purpose of asking the abuser the question, “Why me?” Inevitably, the abuser replies, “Because you were the most vulnerable, you were the weakest.”
Similarly, when researchers interview convicted child molesters and ask how they find their victims, they confirm that they select the child who appears most vulnerable. They linger where children congregate, including parks, schoolyards, and shopping malls, and within 15 seconds they can choose their next victim. They seek out and target the child, who appears isolated and disconnected from the group, and then lure the child into a relationship by promising them friendship. Building a trusting relationship is a crucial phase in the grooming process, because it is precisely this trust that the abuser will manipulate and exploit.
It was estimated that Jeffrey Epstein had three to four sexual encounters a day, and it was Maxwell’s job to recruit, befriend, and groom young girls to provide Epstein with sexual encounters. Ghislaine was attractive, bright, charming, engaging and educated. She wore high fashion clothes and lived in a multi-million dollar home in prestigious Palm Beach, Florida. On the days that Ghislaine was looking for her victims, she would drive her limousine across the bridge to West Palm Beach, a less privileged community. Similar to other perpetrators’ tactics, she lingered near parks and schoolyards with the specific aim of luring young girls. She was accompanied by her Yorkie. Her little dog was the trick she used to get attention and start conversations with girls, many as young as 14.
As with other offenders, Ghislaine Maxwell was adept and adept at exploiting these young girls’ vulnerabilities. All of their victims came from families who were stressed, struggling financially, and/or lacking resources. Many of the girls had a history of neglect and/or abuse and were underage to give consent.
One victim, Virginia Roberts, explained when she revealed to Ghislaine that she was sexually abused by her grandfather and that her mother was an addict. Ghislaine grinned like a Cheshire Cat. The metaphor of the Cheshire Cat’s grin conjures up the image of a broad smile, accompanied by an undertone of menacing malice. In most adults, this young girl’s circumstances would evoke feelings of empathy and a desire to protect her. However, this was not the case with Ghislaine. Instead, I would assume that Ghislaine felt a sense of satisfaction since her mission was accomplished; She had just found her latest victim. Virginia was young, alone, vulnerable, and traumatized by the people in her family who were supposed to keep her safe and safe from harm. Maxwell knew Virginia was the perfect victim.
Another victim, Jane (the alias she used in court to protect her identity), stated that Maxwell nursed her for almost a year. Ghislaine would visit her once or twice a week, shop for her clothes, talk to her about her life and dreams, take her out to dinner and buy her gifts. To create the illusion of family and to imply a special relationship and deep connection, Ghislaine told Jane that she felt like her older sister. At times, Maxwell would offer Jane money and encourage her to accept it because “her mother needed it.”
It is not uncommon for the abuser to also care for the victim’s mothers and other family members. Epstein and Maxwell invited Jane and her mother to tea at their Palm Beach estate. The meeting lasted 30 minutes. Epstein told Jane’s mother that he was impressed by her daughter and thought she was very talented. He offered to sponsor her training and education. Epstein also signed a lease for Jane’s mother so that she and her children could rent an apartment in Manhattan. For a mother who recently lost her husband to cancer, was struggling financially and was living with her children in a friend’s pool house, Epstein’s offer of sponsorship and support must have felt like a dream come true, a light in a very dark time of them lives.
All of Epstein and Maxwell’s victims share a similar story; They were told they would be hired to give Jeffrey Epstein a massage and would be paid $300. However, the massages soon escalated and became sexual. For Jane, this was the first time she had ever seen a man’s naked body, her first sexual experience. She said she was scared and ashamed. Maxwell was sometimes present and observing, and sometimes she would participate in sexual activity. One victim recalled that Ghislaine stripped to model and normalize sexual activity.
Epstein and Maxwell were involved in a so-called “pyramid scheme of abuse.” It was a system used to recruit a steady stream of underage girls for Epstein and Maxwell’s sexual exploits. Epstein would offer his current victim’s extra money for any girl they would recruit to give him “a massage.” When victims attempted to disengage from their involvement, Maxwell’s and Epstein’s hired people to stalk, harass, and even threaten them and/or their families to ensure their silence. All of the girls who testified said they were scared, confused and in fear for their lives, which put them under pressure to remain silent.
Approximately 166 million women live in the United States. According to statistics, every fourth woman is sexually abused before the age of 18; this means that approximately 41 million women in the US have a history of child sexual abuse. I am sure that many, like my clients, have been watching the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell closely, waiting to see if the courts will continue to reflect the country’s long-standing denial of abuse, and thereby implicitly condone and sanction the continuation of child abuse. However, the verdict stands: Ghislaine was convicted on five of the six child sex trafficking charges. For many of their victims, the purpose of their testimony was not to seek revenge, for many survivors know that revenge brings no comfort. Instead, comfort comes from being able to tell her story, to be heard, and to see her abuser held accountable for her behavior. What brings relief is the experience of being heard and acknowledged, and a sense of justice in knowing that Ghislaine will be held accountable and even punished for the violence she has committed – and with it her ability to harm other children, is terminated.